Psychologist Can’t Figure Out Why Few Will Date A Trans Person

Indeed, most have a favorite sex and gender of the person they desire to have as a partner. For example, regarding bisexuals, research clearly shows that relatively few bisexuals are evenly divided in their sexual preference between males and females; rather, they have a clear preference for one or the other (Savin-Williams, 2021). So, too, although gender preferences are less frequently investigated, it appears that many bisexuals have a decided predilection for the gender presentation (masculine or feminine) of their dating partner. Bisexuals who display no sexual or gender preferences are technically pansexuals; in the current study, pansexuals might have identified as queer or nonbinary. All of the above and many other negative reactions to trans women by men who find them attractive in general are as the result of sexuality insecurity and fragile masculinity.

Thanks so much for supporting the blog, and for your patience. The article about embracing your sexuality while being trans will be up in two weeks–as of right now, the blog is on a brief hiatus while I go into tech and performance week for the show I’m in at the Oberon in Boston! HOWEVER, the reasons for this can still be transphobic. In most cases, it’s generally a good idea NOT to tell anyone why you’re rejecting them. Keeping your mouth shut will not only stop you from being blatantly transphobic, but from insulting someone in general. Statements like these are always transphobic, regardless of what sort of flavor they carry, or how nice you put it.

What Is Transphobia?

I feel like I have to share my entire life story early on — a situation in dating that we’re often told to avoid at the risk of being too overwhelming. After a number of dates and situations not too unlike the interaction with the MMA fighter, I had to take a serious look at the risk involved with not disclosing my trans status. I found early disclosure necessary because we live in a world where trans panic is still justification for devaluing and even harming trans women. LGB Alliance says it is particularly concerned about younger and therefore more vulnerable lesbians being pressured into relationships with trans women. Rose made the video in response to a series of tweets by trans athlete Veronica Ivy, then known as Rachel McKinnon, who wrote about hypothetical scenarios where trans people are rejected, and argued that “genital preferences” are transphobic.

Whatever your views are on transgender issues, chances are, you’re not transphobic. Real transphobia involves irrational behaviour and denies trans people a ‘fair go’ not at the expense of others. Real transphobia is physically hurting someone because they’re trans, or not hiring the best job candidate just because they’re trans. Bear413 Transphobia can be real, but fake transphobia is also real, and throwing (or threatening to throw) fake transphobia accusations around, especially in public discourse, does not help the transgender cause. He had no problem having sex with or hanging out with a trans woman, but didn’t really see their value as actual partners.

My reason for transitioning in the first place was to lessen my gender dysphoria, and such a relationship would only open up old wounds. This has been a defining statement of the LGBT rights movement for many decades, and is something any sensibly-minded person can agree upon. However, dating is entirely voluntary, and is the one area in life where people can (and perhaps should) be as picky as they so choose to be when choosing a partner. Many people express outrage when public figures such as Greer, who are not trans or gender diverse, are called on to speak about trans issues.

Rather than excluding them, though, sports teams often seek them out for those exact qualities. You’ll find plenty of examples of transphobia in the news and media. Understand, too, that a person can also express transphobic ideas unintentionally. These words and actions can still cause pain, even if they weren’t meant negatively. A person doesn’t have to put these behaviors or beliefs into words for them to count as transphobia, either.

When You Say “I Would Never Date A Trans Person,” It’s Transphobic. Here’s Why.

“We know a minority, but still a sizeable minority of trans women, do pressure lesbians to go out with them and have sex with them and it’s a very disturbing phenomenon.” Debbie Hayton, a science teacher who transitioned in 2012 and writes about trans issues, worries some people transition without realising how hard it will be to form relationships. One compared going on dates with trans women to so-called conversion therapy – the controversial practice of trying to change someone’s sexual orientation. As well as experiencing pressure to go on dates or engage in sexual activity with trans women, some of the respondents reported being successfully persuaded to do so. Several people got in touch with me to say there was a “huge problem” for lesbians, who were being pressured to “accept the idea that a penis can be a female sex organ”.

The Transgender Dating Dilemma

As one might expect, bisexual, queer, and nonbinary individuals were most likely to date a trans person—slightly over half. Yet, one might wonder why this was not closer to 100 percent. Despite the commonly held assumption that bisexual, queer, and nonbinary individuals have no or few sexual or gender preferences, this belief is, I believe, mistaken.

It means that lesbians who incline towards sex with people who have vaginas, also need to widen their horizons and be open to sex with women who have penises. Toleration doesn’t just mean treating transgender people fairly and equally, ensuring they have the same rights, freedoms and entitlements as anyone else. It means being willing to have sex with people, not on the basis of the body and genitals they have, but because of the gender they say they are. But in the looking-glass world of transgender rights, the proposition I’ve just set out is contested and even controversial. For some people, reducing sexuality to a simple question of ‘genital preference’ is reductive, exclusionary and yes, transphobic.

It came as lawmakers across the country engage in a historic push for more restrictions on trans people’s rights. “I’m looking at society today and it’s like I’m watching an X-Men movie with people that when you watch the X-Men movies or Marvel Comics — it’s like we mutants living among us on planet Earth. And, you know, some people don’t like that, but that’s a fact.

The trans woman who led the workshop declined to speak to the BBC, but Planned Parenthood Toronto stood by its decision to hold the workshop. “This word transphobia has been placed like a dragon in the path to stop discussion about really important issues,” she said. “It’s fair to say that I didn’t expect to have to fight for these rights again, the rights of people whose sexual orientation is towards people of the same sex,” said co-founder Bev Jackson, who also co-founded the UK Gay Liberation Front in 1970.